I Know My Cat has Secrets!

You know what I mean! 

Jack Segundus Bakery Mauser, tuxedo and lout.  Friendly enough when it's quiet, but keeps to himself most the time.  I feed this cat everyday and I carry out his poop and every time I open the garage door he freaks out like he's guilty and runs.

I never find anything wrong.

It's like he has a secret agenda that, God Forbid! I should know about. I'm just taking out the laundry and I open the door--no, not even open--begin to become conscious of the desire to take hold of the door handle and he senses it.  By the time I have come into contact with the door handle and actually begun to rotate the handle he is diving through the cat door and colliding with me and the pantry. If I do get it open before he notices, he turns himself inside out trying to get by me without getting close to me.  I just stand their and watch his imitation of satanic possession until physics takes back over, his feet grab the floor and he disappears in a cloud of shed hair.

I don't know what he wants to hide, what secret mystery informs his soul with purpose or why that purpose seems so fraught with peril. Jack ain't talking.

Jokes on him though; I don't really care.